Breaking Up: When They Can Just Walk Away.

Heart-break-150x150When someone walks out of your life you trusted would be there forever, the pain can be so excruciating, you feel as if your heart will rip right out of your chest, and you may even feel like you can’t go on one more day. If the relationship was a bit turbulent, you may even feel a bit of relief at first….and then the reality sets in with each day you don’t hear from them, that it’s over, and they may not be coming back this time. The tears are flowing endlessly and the gut wrenching screams ripping your insides to shreds is enough to break down the gates of heaven, but after you pick yourself up off of the floor only silence answers you back and all you feel in return is an even greater sense of emptiness. Your heart is urging you to pick up the phone and call this person and beg them back, drive by their home, scroll the pages of their Facebook and Twitter page, or come up with strategies you know will get their attention and possibly win them back. You may even be feeling angry enough to damage their property, assault them, or write the meanest nastiest letter you have ever written to this person. Your heart is heavy enough where you feel that the consequence of doing these vengeful things doesn’t matter now. You’re hurting bad… and you feel like they don’t care, so why should you? STOP! Please stop and listen!

In your temporary insanity, you really do not want to do anything that takes a few minutes, but will leave permanent consequences. You really are not thinking straight when your heart is so wounded. Even the best of us have had the strangest thoughts during these times. Can you see my hand raised high? There were times when I wanted to dress in all black, hide in the bushes and spring out with the biggest super soaker I could find and soak them up real good, followed by a hard back handed slap right across the wet face. Ouch! But would good would that have done? They would have been soaked and a bit stunned, and I would still be alone and soaked in my own tears. Or maybe even soaking wet in a jail cell. The hardest thing to do is usually the right thing to do. This is a philosophy my mother taught me that I live by daily. Furthermore, it is very hard not to lash out or get revenge when your heart is bleeding, but it is the best thing.

Silence is power! You are more powerful my love when you do absolutely nothing but pray for them, take good care of you, and remain silent unless you’re venting to friends. The next person who is worthy of your love is waiting. There is someone praying earnestly for a beautiful, healthy, kindhearted queen like you. There is someone praying for a handsome, strong, dependable man of God like you. So get ready will you, and stop pining over this person who couldn’t appreciate you. They will end up hurting anyone who comes into their path. That’s what hurting people do, they hurt others. It’s a pattern. Pray for the next victim that enters their web of deception and donate a box of Kleenex because he/she will need it.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. ” God will work this situation out for your good and His glory. Have faith and believe in Him.

This person you loved may have been the best thing that ever happened to you, but are they worth a prison sentence? Are they worth sacrificing your precious life over? Are they worth another minute of agonizing torture to your body and soul? Are they spending time crying over you? Have they become the real god in your life that you feel you cannot go on without them? The truth of the matter is that things happen for a reason. Yes, even devastating heart wrenching painful things like this. And while you may feel helpless, hopeless, and feel like dying, there is hope. God’s strength is being made perfect in your weakness. Many of us have felt this type of pain, some more excruciating than others, but we lived to tell you that you will get better in time. My love, it does get better. Really it does.
Your Greatest Investment. Your Worst One
You’ve spent countless hours on the telephone, in person, and texting I love yous’ all throughout the day. You took walks hand in hand, kissed passionately, went on vacations, splurged on gifts, and they vowed they would never hurt you and would always love you. You find it difficult to eat, sleep, and even think right now, and getting out of bed every morning is a huge task. You feel sick and may be thinking you are going to lose your mind. There are days where you simply can’t get up, so you crawl back beneath the covers at the slightest glimpse of light entering the bedroom and shield your face from having to face another painful day without them in your life. To make matters worse, you just can’t wrap your brain around how someone could be so intensely in love one day and so cold the next. Hot and cold. In love one minute, hateful the next. Just doesn’t make sense does it?

It is agonizing when you come to the reality that you have been wasting precious time putting your energy into an illusion and giving love from the depths of your soul to someone who turned out to be so undeserving of it. The first feeling is utter shock and you may even feel as if God Himself has abandoned you. Your pain will try hard to convince you of this lie as it eats away at your self- esteem day after day. Your heart is so heavy that you feel it is impossible to ever recover because you believed so much in this relationship and loved harder than you’ve ever loved before. You told yourself that this time it will last. You may have been hurt like this before and vowed you’d never open your heart back up again to anyone, and then this person came into your life and made a liar out of you and convinced you to try again, just to hurt you all over again. You may even have felt like this person was a God send, someone sent to restore you, to redeem you, to give you a reason to trust again. And she/he broke your heart into, crushing an already broken heart into a million pieces. Psalms 34:18

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

God’s strength is made perfect in your weakness. God will never turn away from you when you’re hurting, despite what your pain is telling you. God has a perfect plan for your life. No matter how much it hurts, cling to Him. You will be happy you did once the emotional storm clouds clear. And they will clear. The sooner you stop beating yourself up, the sooner you will feel better. If they couldn’t appreciate you, it’s their loss and someone better will come along. God has so much more in store for you than what this person could have offered. Trust that… no matter how old you are.

The truth is that God is watching over you at your weakest darkest moment, especially when you don’t feel His presence. He is always there. During this vulnerable time Satan will use people to reject you, use your own insecurities, and use other circumstances to try and convince you that you are worthless and unlovable, what happened was your fault, and that no one will ever love you. Painful memories that simulate the break up will resurface and memories of trauma that have remained unresolved since early childhood years will re-emerge adding more salt to the wound. All the while Satan’s minions are screaming that it’s over for you, you are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not perfect enough, not rich enough, and things will never get better, and for you to just throw in the towel and give up. These are all lies.

Revelation 21:4
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Our Heavenly Father has the authority to remove all anger, bitterness, pain, and suffering. He has the power to change your situation. Allow God to remove your pain through prayer, worship and having faith that He and He alone can do it. Sure, it takes time and we shouldn’t rush it because we miss the lesson in it. Alcohol, drugs, and rushing into a rebound relationship will only prolong the grieving process and make matters worse.

Never ever settle for less than God’s best ever again. Never cast your pearls before swine.
Don’t you know that Jesus paid a high price for your life? Things will get better!

If you’re at the point where you are considering ending your life, just know that this is the enemy’s plan. He is out to destroy you because he knows that God is going to bring you out of this victoriously. He knows that you have the favor of God on your life, and that so much beauty will come from the ashes of your brokenness. Please do not give in to this wicked spirit; it is dark spirit that visits all of us when we are at our most vulnerable places in life. It’s a negative intelligence seeking to destroy the people of God and it lurks heavily around wounded souls.

The person that broke your heart is not worth the agony and God will turn your situation around where you will be so glad that the person did leave. This too shall pass! If someone can walk away from you, let them go. Leave the door closed and don’t try and open it again. God closed the door for a reason, whether it was your fault or theirs, it doesn’t matter. Stay focused on God and the lesson He is trying to teach you through all of this. Never isolate yourself. There is safety in numbers. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you. If you don’t have any support, get counseling, join a group, exercise, and cry and scream it out. Cry some more. Turn on some music. Turn it up loud! And then pour all of your love and attention into getting healthy again.

Find ways to distract yourself from thinking or obsessing about the person. Now is the time to love you like never before. Ask God for strength to get out of bed, to shower, brush your teeth, to pamper yourself, to go and lift those weights, to reach out to others who are hurting. In time, you will start to feel better. I know you may not want to hear this right now because you’re in so much pain, but, you cannot rush the grief process. You must go through it and not around it.

If the relationship is meant to be it will happen naturally without any struggle on your part. Caution: Sometimes the only thing that changes is time…not the person who hurt you. Seek God when it comes to restoration.
The best revenge is success, and the next time that person sees you, they will not see a battered broken down soul begging them to come back. They will see a beautiful healthy, powerful, courageous, woman/man of God thriving like never before. When God removes someone, it only means he has someone better for you. Every heartbreak disappointment and rejection only leads you one step closer to who you were destined to be with. God will bring the sunshine back into your life again, but you have to hang in there, trust him, worship Him like never before, and thank Him for sending the right person who will sweep you off of your feet. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are worthy. Believe it!

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