breakout:As I walked out of the Library into the back of the movie theater again, I looked up at  the black  ball  hanging  from the  center  of the ceiling  with its  bright lights  streaming toward the wrap-around IMAX screens. Finally, I knew with certainty what the ball was. It was projecting the images of the 3D movies onto the screens, creating the holograms we are all part of, totally immersing us, making them appear to be our lives, our reality. In fact, Pribram said that black ball was a human brain – my human brain – and the movies it produced were not real at all. According to quantum physics, nothing is “real,” as we have  always  understood that  word – not just the  shadows on the  wall of Plato’s Cave, but also the fire and the men on the walkway that produce the shadows, and the Cave itself as well. It’s all a hologram, popping in and out of existence as I observe it; and by definition, a hologram is not real. But all of this brought up a lot more questions than it answered…. ~ Who or what is creating the holographic movies I’m experiencing as my reality? ~ If the movies I’ve been watching and thinking were my life aren’t real (along with the movie theater itself), then what is real? ~  Why  do  the  movies  seem  to  contain  so  much  drama  and  conflict  and  pain  and suffering, both internal and external? ~ What does it all mean in the end? And perhaps even more importantly, in light of the discoveries in quantum physics, I had to rethink all my previous answers to the questions: ~ Who am I, really? ~ Where did I come from? ~ How did I get here? ~ What am I doing here? I stood there staring at the black ball hanging from the ceiling as if it would suddenly and magically speak and give me the answers I needed. * * I was about to turn sixty-two years of age, sitting in my apartment one day when I realized… ~ I had no job. I had responded to a few want ads that would have been perfect for me, but no one wanted to hire me. ~ I had no money and didn’t know how I was going to pay the next month’s rent. ~ I had no relationship, no one to love, no female who wanted to be part of my life in an intimate way. ~  I  had  two  marriages,  both  of  which  failed  after  15+  years  because  of  my  own issues.

breakout:Although I had a few close friends, none of them lived within a thousand miles of me at the time. ~ I had a  wonderful  family,  including  three  fantastic  grandchildren;  but  other than my daughter and her husband, I hardly got to see them. ~ I had written two books about AIDS and HIV no one was buying and apparently no one wanted to read. ~ I had no future plans, no idea how anything would change. …and I thought to myself, “My life couldn’t get any more….” The word I used, if I recall correctly, started with an “F.” But  as  I  sat  in  the  apartment  that  day  taking  stock  of  my  life  and  realizing  how limited it had become, I did not feel any depression, any regret, any sadness or loneliness at  all.  It  wasn’t  apathy  or  resignation,  either.  The  “F”  word  was  just  a  habit  with  no emotion behind it. Instead, it was a moment devoid of all judgment or resistance to my situation – a moment as if I were suspended in time and looking at myself from afar, a moment  in  which  I  completely  surrendered  to  “what  is”  without  any  desire  or  need  to change it. If I had any reaction at all, it was more like, “Oh. So that’s the way things are;” and what I felt the most was gratitude for still having a roof over my head and enough food to eat. * * When it wouldn’t speak to me, my eyes finally left the black ball and came to rest on the  door  at  the  back  of  the  theater,  the  one  with  the  sign  saying,  “Do  Not  Enter  – Extremely Dangerous.” I  knew  the  answers  I  wanted  –  I  needed  –  were  not  going  to  be  found  inside  the movie theater, or in any group, or in the Library. I knew my life had reached a turning point, perhaps like an alcoholic or drug addict who hits bottom and takes an honest and dispassionate look at his life. I knew I was tired of fighting, joining this group and then that one, trying to make things  happen,  working  hard  to  make  things  go  right,  only  to  end  up  here.  I  had  been there, done that, and brought home both the t-shirt and the hat, neither of which fit. I could feel something inside me literally pushing me toward that door, almost as if I had no other option. There was nothing left in the movie theater for me, so why should I stay when there was somewhere else to go I had never been, and staying here made no sense at all. It was with both fear and excitement that I walked toward the door, opened it, and went through. * * The rest of this book will be my written report to you as your “scout” of what I found on the other side of the door. At this point I want to repeat and expand on something I said in the Introduction. I am  not  writing  this  book  to  try  to  talk  you  into  anything.  I  am  merely  passing  on information  I  have  discovered  during  my  own  journey.  Whether  you  believe  that information  or  not  is  none  of  my  business  or  concern,  and  I  am  not  interested  in convincing you I am right. If at any time it sounds like I am arguing a point to try to get you to believe it, rest assured that is not the case. My only job, as I see it, is to try to pass on the information as clearly and completely as possible, and sometimes that isn’t easy. I will often go to great lengths to make sure I have expressed the information in a way you can at least understand what I am saying, whether you agree with it or not. I  also  promised  you  in  the  Introduction  I  would  let  you  know  when  we  reach  the place in the book where you can only go on and not back. We’re there. Of  course,  you  can  keep  reading  the  rest  of  the  book  out  of  pure  curiosity, maintaining  some  distance, not getting  too involved, never going through the door, not reading  as  if  the  book  were  about  you  and  your  own  spiritual  evolution.  There’s  no danger  in  that.  Do  whatever  you  want,  and  remember  you  can  never  do  anything “wrong.” But I have to warn you, if you keep reading, the information is going to make its way into your mind and will stay there forever. You can do your best to ignore it and return to your life as a Human Adult inside the movie theater, but eventually it will begin to have its impact, maybe a little bit at a time. That’s fine, too. I suggest, however, if you really don’t  want  to  let  this  affect  your  life  in  any way,  you  stop reading  now,  put  the  book down, and walk away. This book will always be there in the Library in the movie theater, if and when you decide you want to pick it up again. All but a few Human  Adults spend the rest of their  lives in the back of the movie theater belonging to some group; and they die there as well. Most have no idea there’s an alternative,  so  no  one  can  blame  them.  Besides,  the  sign  on  the  door  says,  “Do  Not Enter,”  and  Human  Adults  have  a  tendency  to  respect  authority.  The  sign  also  says, “Extremely Dangerous,” and most Human Adults are still controlled by their fears. But maybe you’re not one of them, and now you know there is an alternative. * * I want to give you  as much  information  as I can for you  to make a decision about how  you  want  to  proceed;  and  at  this  point  I’m  going  to  introduce  a  new  metaphor, apparently a fairly common one…. “The complete metamorphosis of a butterfly has been used as a metaphor for eternal  life,  as  the  ‘earth-bound’  caterpillar  transforms  into  the  ‘ethereal  butterfly’,” says  the New World Encyclopedia.1 I said before that the Universe provides many hints and clues in plain sight for us to see and understand when we’re ready. The butterfly metamorphosis is one of them, so it doesn’t surprise me that various writers have picked up on it from time to time. Once  again,  however,  their  metaphor  is  wrong  because  it’s  based  on  a  faulty premise. The  metaphor  of  metamorphosis  has  nothing  to  do  with  “eternal  life.”  It  has everything to do with becoming a butterfly in the here and now. Let’s first understand that “metamorphosis” is actually the whole series of changes an insect undergoes from egg to adult. Metamorphosis commonly has four stages, which we can easily equate to our discussions about the movie theater… Stage One: The embryo or egg, i.e., the Human Child Stage Two: The larva, i.e., the Human Adult Stage Three: The pupa, i.e., what comes after “the door”

breakout:Stage Four: The adult or imago, i.e., the so-called “spiritually enlightened” What we’re talking about at the moment is going from Stage Two, a Human Adult, into Stage Three, the pupa. That’s precisely what happens if you walk through the door at the back of the theater. In  insect  metamorphosis,  the  pupa  stage  is when  the  caterpillar  transforms  into  its adult form (the imago). “It is during the time of pupation that the adult structures of the insect are formed  while the larval structures are broken down. Pupae are inactive, and usually sessile (not  able to move about).  They have a hard protective  coating and often use camouflage to  evade potential predators.”2 This “hard protective coating” takes different forms in different insects, but is most commonly known as a “cocoon.” Technically,  most  butterflies  do  not  have  a  “cocoon.”  Instead,  they  have  a “chrysalis.” A “cocoon” is a silk casing spun by a caterpillar which totally encloses them during  their  transformation  into  a  moth,  for  example.  A  “chrysalis”  is  created  when  a caterpillar that will become a butterfly sheds its outer layer of skin, leaving a hard shell hanging from a leaf or twig in which it is encased for the transformation. But  I’m  going  to  take  some  literary  license  here  and  from  now  on  use  the  word “cocoon” rather than “chrysalis” in my butterfly metamorphosis metaphor. After all, it’s just  a  metaphor,  and  “cocoon”  is  a  lot  easier  to  type  and  pronounce,  and  much  more  commonly understood. So… if you decide to walk through the door in the back of the theater, you will be leaving  Stage  Two  and  entering  Stage  Three,  stepping  into  a  cocoon;  and  one  of  the reasons  I  like  this  metaphor  so  much  is  that  there  are  many  similarities  between  a caterpillar cocoon and what’s on the other side of the door. Here’s what you can expect, should you take this step…. A cocoon is small and confining and desolate and lonely and dark, and it means the death of the caterpillar; and that’s exactly where you will find yourself. Know right now that you will not be walking into the blinding white light of eternal bliss. Instead, things  will look pretty much the same as they always have in the first few days; it will take you some time to realize just how different they are, as you begin what has been referred to (but ultimately misunderstood) by various religions inside the movie theater as the “dark night of the soul.”BREAKOUT: “’Dark  night  of  the  soul’ is  used  to  describe  a  phase  in  a  person’s  spiritual  life,  marked by a sense of loneliness and desolation…. It is referenced by spiritual traditions  throughout the world….. The term ‘dark night (of the soul)’ is used in Christianity for a  spiritual  crisis  in  a journey  towards union  with  God…. Typically  for  a believer  in  the  dark  night  of  the  soul,  spiritual  disciplines  (such  as  prayer  and  consistent  devotion  to  God) suddenly seem to lose all their experiential value; traditional prayer is extremely  difficult  and unrewarding for an extended period of time…. The individual may feel as  though God has suddenly abandoned them or that his or her prayer life has collapsed….  Rather than resulting in devastation, however, the dark night is perceived by mystics and  others  to  be  a  blessing  in  disguise,  whereby  the  individual  is  stripped  of  the  spiritual  ecstasy  associated  with  acts  of  virtue.  Although  the  individual  may for  a time  seem  to  outwardly decline  in their practices of virtue,  they in reality  become more virtuous, as they  are  being  virtuous less for the  spiritual  rewards  obtained  and  more out  of  a  true  love for God.”3 Let’s  just  say  in  your  cocoon  on  the  other  side  of  the  door,  you  will  experience situations that will challenge every single belief, theory, opinion, judgment, and attitude you ever had and held sacred; and none of your prior training in any spiritual philosophy or self-help technique will do you the slightest bit of good. For example, spiritual philosophies or self-help practices designed to alter your state of  consciousness, such as  meditation  and breathing  techniques  and dream  analysis,  are the last thing you will want to do inside your cocoon, because you need to be in full and conscious control of all the faculties of your mind. (I’m not saying you will “think” your way into  being  a  butterfly,  but  you’ll  quickly  learn  that  any  technique  or  practice  you may have learned in the back of the movie theater that involved closing your eyes was actually  leading  you  in  the  exact  opposite  direction  of  where  you  wanted  to  go.BREAKOUT:Everything  you  will need to become  a butterfly will appear  right there in front of you,  and you’ll want to be wide awake and fully focused on the here and now.) “Just hypothetically, what if you found out that in order to achieve the enlightenment  you  speak  of,  you  had  to  reject  all  the  teachings  you’ve  ever  received.  Could  you  abandon all this knowledge you’ve acquired?”4 How “dark” will this “dark night” be? That depends on you. All I can say right now is that the intensity of the “darkness” will depend on how resistant you are to letting go and dying, in the same way a caterpillar could make his transformation a living hell if he fought it inside the cocoon. What else can you expect if you walk through the door? To be totally alone. Every caterpillar has its own cocoon, and so will you. That doesn’t mean you have to disconnect from family or friends and go off in the woods somewhere by yourself, although some have; but your family and friends will not be able to help you, nor will they understand what you’re doing or why. Only those who have gone before you – the scouts – will have any  idea  what  you’re  going  through,  and  contact  with  them  only  happens  rarely  while you’re in the cocoon. It means there will be no group to support or comfort you like there was in the back of the movie theater; you’re on your own. Will  the  movies  you’ve  been  watching  in  the  theater  change?  Not  really,  not  that much in the beginning; but there is definitely a change in their purpose, from leading you into  more  limitation  in  the  movie  theater  to  giving  you  the  opportunity  to  eventually break out of your cocoon as a butterfly. You’ll have to read the next part of this book to fully understand that concept. Perhaps the most disturbing prospect of walking through that door into your cocoon is your certain death. A caterpillar must “die” in order to transform into a butterfly. You, too, must die – that is, the “you” you think of as “you” must die. It is only through this death that you can discover who you really are. How long will you stay in the cocoon? “Pupation may be brief, for example 2 weeks as in monarch butterflies, or the pupa  may enter dormancy or diapause until the appropriate season for the adult…. Pupation  may last weeks, months or even years.”5 From  reports  of  two  other  scouts  and  my  own  experience,  I  can  say  you  will probably stay in the cocoon about two to three years. Not all that time will be the “darknight of the soul;” it gets easier as you get closer to the end. But you should be prepared
not to emerge as a butterfly any time soon, like next week or next year.
It all sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it? Actually, it is, or it can be once you get the
hang of it. (No pun intended… a chrysalis hangs from a leaf or… oh, never mind.)
But consider this… if you  decide to climb  Mount Everest, you  should be prepared
for a lot of hard training and difficult conditions in order to reach the summit. If you want
to be an Olympic swimmer, there’s years of sacrificing a “normal” life and hours a day in
the pool and weight room just to try to qualify; and then there’s no guarantee of a medal.
I doubt any good coach or trainer would sugarcoat all the preparation you  must go
through if you want to achieve such lofty goals. The same is true in this case.
On the other hand, no one attempts to climb Mount Everest or win Olympic Gold or
do anything challenging without knowing the end result is worth the effort. That would
truly  be  insane.  In  this  case,  what  awaits  you  as  a  butterfly  is  constant  and  true  and
abiding  joy,  abundance,  power,  and love.  Well,  maybe.  I’m  still  in the  last  part  of my
cocoon stage, so I won’t guarantee anything. What I can say from my current position is
that I am experiencing all the things I wished for and believed possible while still in the
movie theater as a Human Adult: true contentment, peace of mind, more abundance than
I could have imagined, total relief from worry and stress, more fun and excitement than I
ever dreamed  of, with virtually no drama  and conflict  or pain and suffering, and much
more love and appreciation for myself and everyone else and the Universe as a whole.
Plus, I have the answers I needed to my questions; and perhaps more importantly, I
have no more doubts.
To  me,  that  alone  makes  the  journey  worthwhile,  and  I’m  not  yet  at  the  final

BREAKOUT:I found it amusing that in his  Enlightenment Trilogy, Jed McKenna spent the entire
first book telling  you  all  about what it’s like  to be “spiritually enlightened,”  painting  a
very  wonderful,  accurate,  and  appealing  picture.  Then  in  Book  Two,  he  made  it  very
clear  how difficult  and demanding  it is to get there, using examples  of Julie’s spiritual
autolysis and the travails of Captain Ahab in Moby Dick. But in Book Three Jed seems to
go to great lengths to try to convince you not to go there, but to stay in the movie theater
as a Human Adult.
BREAKOUT:“Who wants to be cast permanently adrift on a shoreless sea? Who wants to spend
the rest of their life tumbling through infinite space? No one, of course. What’s the point
of pointlessness? How can you want nothing?”

breakout:It’s true. So-called “spiritual enlightenment” is not at all what people have dreamed
it  to  be;  and  despite  what  some  teachers  and  gurus  have  said,  it  is  not  something  that
happens  overnight  in  a  blinding  flash  of  light,  or  as  the  result  of  a  special  meditation
session  where  all  of  a  sudden  you  commune  with  God.  Getting  there  is extremely
difficult and demanding, but so is reaching the summit of Mt. Everest. Sure, you  could
stay in Base Camp and enjoy the view and appreciate the beauty and have a fairly decent
life. Or you could climb to the top.
BREAKOUT:Why would anyone do that? Because it’s there, of course; and because you  simply
cannot  not do it. Because there’s something inside you that says you absolutely  must go
through that door.

breakout:For some people the choice is clear and easy. What’s the point of staying inside the movie theater when you know it’s not real and the answers you’re seeking can’t be found there? For others, the choice can be really tough, especially for younger Human Adults (in chronological age) who have their entire lives ahead of them. I wonder whether it takes a certain amount of time spent in the movie theater before one is ready to consider another option. After all, there’s a lot of fun and enjoyment and pleasure to be found as a Human  Adult  –  limited  and  restricted  though  it  is  –  that  someone  in  their  twenties  or  thirties might not be so anxious to miss out on. The thought of leaving your group and ending up totally alone before getting to experience everything the Cave has to offer might not be that appealing. Of  course,  it’s  also  possible  the  younger  ones  don’t  believe  me  that  the  answers they’re seeking can’t be found inside the theater. Perhaps they don’t want to believe me, having just joined a group they think  can offer them the  constant and true and abiding joy, abundance, power, and love they’re seeking, and want to give it a go. I’m all for it – give it all you’ve got for as long as you can. Nothing you do will be “wrong;” the door at the back of the theater will always be there. But  I  have  often  thought  while  writing  this  book  that  I  could  be  talking  almost exclusively to the Baby Boomers, the former Hippies now in their late 50’s and 60’s who have spent enough time in the back of the theater to fully appreciate its limitations and have virtually nothing to lose by going through the door. We’ll see. * * So, there it is. That’s everything I can think of to help you make your decision. The door is standing there right there in front of you, unlocked and ready for you to walk  through it.  (By the way,  did I mention  that  once you  walk through, it closes and locks behind you, and you can never change your mind?) As I said in the beginning, it’s your choice. * * MOVIE SUGGESTION: The Truman Show, starring Jim Carrey (1998)

Provided by: