We have all experienced times when a child has chosen a different path than how they were taught, and some of us have more than one child who has for some unforeseen reason has chosen to take a darker path. There is no pain more excruciating for a mother and father than watching your child slip deeper and deeper into the evil embraces of this world, and for single mothers raising sons alone, the task is even more daunting. Sometimes it seems as if the more we pray the worse they become.
The anguish and emotional heartache that we carry from day to day in our hearts as we hope and pray for change oftentimes feels unbearable, and the fear that accompany such painful emotions can grip us so tightly that we oftentimes find ourselves wanting to give up. We send up anguishing moans before the throne of God and only silence answers us.
The truth is…. No matter how much we love, nurture, and try to protect our children, at some point they will still make their own choices and mistakes, and there is very little that can be done about it. Although setting rules and boundaries are a must, we have to also be willing to allow our children to make their own decisions even though we know the outcome will prove to be detrimental. And trust me when I say this, they will make decisions that will break our hearts. Although we strive hard to warn, teach, and discourage them against the perils of this life, some lessons are better learned through trial and error.
Example: If I am in the process of disciplining one child, and another child continues to step in the way of discipline, that child making the sacrifice will always suffer, therefore leaving the undisciplined child to continue down a wayward path.
Sometimes as mothers and fathers we step in God’s way when he is trying to get that child’s attention, and instead of the child being chastised, we suffer for their mistakes. How will a child ever be accountable for their mistakes if we keep jumping in the way of the correction? The best thing we can offer to our children is continued prayer. No matter what they are doing. No matter how devastating the situation appears. No matter how many mistakes they’ve made or continue to make, God is still in control. Trust, believe, and speak only life over your child, not anger, bitterness, and frustration.
Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Satan waits to hear what comes out of our mouths as parents when we are frustrated with children because negative words give him and advantage.
Nevertheless, what may seem to be getting worse no matter how much we pray… may just be the hand of God shifting the order of things to get their full attention. Loving our children sometimes means letting them go, surrendering them back into the hands of God, forgiving them every time they mess up, and trusting that they will be provided for and protected. In fact, the only real power we have over our children of a certain age, and who belong to our creator, is complete surrender and trust. This, by no means is an easy thing to do. It takes patience, self-discipline, and super natural strength, and the lessons we are so adamantly trying to teach them are usually the lessons we need to learn ourselves.
Let go and let God. He is always in control even when the situation appears to be out of control. And never give up on your children. Pray, pray, and then… pray some more. God hears and He will answer in His perfect timing